The argument I have most with my sister is about spending. I love spending money on food, and I spend without limit on my mom. My sister, on the other hand, doesn’t spend on anything. She saves and saves and saves. So when she sees me, I am reckless. When I see her, she is stingy.
Whenever she tries to stop me from spending money, or I tell her to be more giving, we try to convince each other to change each other’s ways. Though I think the way she lives her life is not ideal, I do think there are valid points when she criticizes my ways. So it gets me thinking – is there even a right way to spend money?
There are things I rarely spend money on – clothes and accessories, makeup, alcohol, and travel. Maybe if I had a surplus of money, I would spend more on those, but I don’t as of now. So, by “saving” on these categories, I spend freely on food. That includes buying myself a matcha latte and a croissant or two every morning, eating a good – usually pricey – dinner, treating my family out for a meal often, and sometimes making a reservation for fine dining.
My credit card bill does come out to a lot at the end of the month, but it is very rare that I regret spending the way I do. Each meal results in a spike in my dopamine levels. I have something to look forward to every single day, and my family loves it when I take them out.
My fiance is very similar to me. He spends very little on everything, including food. Technology is very important to him, so he makes sure to have good hardware, the latest software or program updates, and whatever new tech is out.
I think most people are like the two of us – spending money on things they are passionate about and saving on pretty much everything else. I have friends that spend tons of money on things I think are useless, but they probably think the same about me. Many of my friends go out drinking nearly every night. I might personally think it’s a waste of money, but they have a good time out with friends and probably even make their friendships stronger that way. So who am I to judge?
I have a friend who saves money to spend it all at once on plastic surgery every year. Would I ever do that? Probably never. But she is creating her dream self and she loves it! So why not? I have multiple friends who spends all their money traveling. Their pictures on social media are taken in different countries every time. These friends I am jealous of – if I had any money left over after spending on food, I would probably travel too!
But there are many like my sister as well. They save on everything, sometimes invest in stocks or funds, and have a lot of money to their names. Their savings at such a young age blows my mind away. But as much as I wish I had that much money, my day-to-day seems a lot more enjoyable than theirs. While they have humble meals, take public transportation everywhere, and put saving money over their comfort, I am out eating fantastic food and probably riding a taxi home with a food coma.
Some people are horrible with their money – they lose it all on investments or gambling. Or maybe they just don’t know how to spend within their limits and end up in debt. You might find it easy to judge, but you have to understand that not everyone was raised in an environment where they could learn about wise spending. Or maybe they made a mistake in life that led to a continuous downfall – they want to change, but don’t know how. Without proper guidance or people around to support you, it is very easy to go down that path. I know so many people who lost everything from bad choices, but they don’t know better.
At one point, I was one of them. I had no guidance around me whatsoever. Everyone around me seemed to be investing in stocks, coins, and real estate, so I decided out of peer pressure to put all my money in real estate as well. Then the Korean economy took a wild turn and I lost all of my money. Thank God I decided to throw it all away before it put me in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Many many many people like me ended up committing suicide. This is real – see the news.
That point of my life was due to my bad decisions, and I had no one around to stop me and smack some sense into me. Maybe those other people who are in financial crises are the same.
This leads me back to the question: is there a right way to spend money? Of course there are terrible financial decisions where one wrong turn leads straight down a cliff. But as long as it doesn’t carry that type of dire consequence, who’s to say which type of spending is best? Every way has its pros and cons. As long as it brings you joy, you should be able to spend on whatever you want. Isn’t that the point of making money anyway? If spending no money makes you feel a sense of achievement, then keep saving!
Not everyone has the same goal, and I think my sister and I need to understand that about each other. My sister wants to buy a house with her girlfriend and live a quiet, happy life. And to do that, they need to save money together, which they are indeed doing. But my goal isn’t hers. I want to live big and enjoy every single day of a life that can end at any time. Each meal makes me happy to be alive. Each meal is an investment in my future as a baker/chef. I learn from everything I eat!
There are wiser ways to spend money, but it all depends on what the end goal is. It depends on what each person values and what they want at the end of the day. There is a right way to spend money, but it is custom-made and individual!
I hope my sister reads this and stops judging me for wanting to order a matcha latte. It’s my $6, not yours!
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